I have been struggling to escape this room I am in. I find it familiar and safe, yet confining and dark. It takes all I have not to climb back into my covers of comfort...but something is calling...
There is a scene in the movie Room, that is one of the most touching scenes I have ever watched. In the movie, there is a mother and son being held captive in a room. This room is all the child has ever known. The scene that I mentioned starts out with the mother deciding to pretend the son has died, so that their captor will carry him out in a rolled up rug, and put him in the back of his truck to be buried somewhere. She tells her son that when the truck starts moving, he will have to unroll himself, and when the truck stops, he will need to make a run for it. The boy is understandably nervous and scared. He is leaving all that he knows, and going out into a world he knows nothing about. He can only trust his mother's plan. As the truck bumps along, the rug unrolls, and we see the little boy staring up at the open sky, a sky that he is now fully seeing for the first time...the biggest choice of his life before him. I felt so much emotion well up inside as I watched. I wanted so much for him to do what his mother had instructed. I was shouting inside for him to run...
Staring up at the sky is where I find myself now...and have many times in the past...
I have been told by the One who loves me more than any other that freedom awaits. Like the mother in Room, he has told me to trust Him. But fear and doubt are strong... Is the unknown waiting for me really better than what I already know?
As I wrestle with this, I can't help but wonder, is Jesus looking down at me with the same emotion that I felt watching the little boy?
What if He is there with me as I struggle to either choose freedom...or turn back in fear toward the comfort of the room...
What if His heart is swelling up with love for me as I struggle with this choice...
What if it is overflowing with the hopes He has for me...
Is He picturing all of the possibillities He knows are there waiting for me...if I will just make the choice to be free?
I think I feel Him there...
an
I think I hear His voice...
He is whispering...whispering for me to run...run toward freedom...freedom from fear...freedom from guilt and shame...freedom to love without limits...freedom to leap into all He has planned for me...freedom from the confines of the room..."RUN TOWARD ME" he whispers..."YOU ARE FREE"...
I will run...
And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. (John 8:32)
Room. Dir. Lenny Abrahamson. Perf. Brie Larson, Jacob Tremblay, Sean Bridgers. Element Pictures, 2015. DVD.
